20

He & I :D

Fuad: Why didn't you tell me Friday was your birthday?

Me: I don't go around and tell everyone when is my birthday, Fuad.

Fuad: But hey, happy birthday. *smiles*

Me: Thank you. *smiles back*

I was late to Pavilion on my birthday. So overwhelmed to see everyone there! Since I was late, it was expected that the ones who came early had broken their fast (and dinner, for the ones yang tak puasa). They went off to buy movie tickets (that's what Zuan told me =P). I had chicken rice with him. The rest all had different choices of food.

"Are you still there?" Zuan asked on the phone, and I had just burped with pride. Mwahaha. "Yes, I replied. "Okay, we are coming down," he stated. We waited for them to arrive as we all gathered for some chit chat and pictures. Azwan couldn't manage to try Nasa's camera. Maybe he was nervous. After all, he is a baby in the photography world.

We made our way up for the cinema. Movie picked: Imagine That, starring Eddie Murphy. Orphan was fully booked. Not so long after Sipa managed to smoke a cigarette, Zuan came and told us to wait inside the Glitters Cafe.

[ my favourite shots from my phone that night ]

There were a few bloopers. I caught the glimpse of my birthday cake. The waiter was bringing it to our table when Khalisa stopped him by giving him silent signals that the time has yet to come. I pretended I did not see it, for it would be bad to spoil everything that my darlings had planned.

[ Not Godfathers. More like Grandchildren! Haha. ]

Azril were busy joking around with his troupe. I think it was because they watched Godfather movies way too much. And not to forget, Bruno. The Lithuanians had Coke while waiting, and so did Ayu and a few of us. I wanted to ask for Coke but thinking I was about to go into the cinema, I changed my mind.

Diba was healthily communicating with Sipa & Tumis. I think Tumis finds her funny; but Diba is extraordinarily funny indeed ;)

Moments later, the cake arrived! I wouldn't say it was on flame but it had candles erected all over the top of the the cake; so you can guess how mutilated my cake was when I removed the pink birthday candles. They sang me birthday songs of different languages! Indonesians have two versions of a birthday song. Lithuanian sounded similar to the usual but different language-wise. I think I would love to hear Vara sang the Tamil version; since Azril is a Tamil hopeless. Haha. Oh wait, Kitz was there! He could have joined forces with Vara!

I took the first bite of the cheesecake, and passed around for everyone to have a bite. The cheesecake was heavy, though and it tasted good. We made our way to the cinema, and Zuan was like a mommy; he was dividing the tickets, telling I would be sitting next to Azril.

Imagine That is a good laugh, but it gives an impact within. Oh, and Nabilla told me that Diba slept while the movie was proceeding for good ten minutes. Haha.

We lounged at the balcony area (where all the bars are) after the movie, and those who smoke fulfilled their nicotine hunger. Those who don't were taking pictures and enjoying the view of the semi-blocked KLCC. Haha.

Vara & Ayu were very tired because they had been up since the morning, and so was Khalisa. Khalisa decided to drive home and we took off to McDonald's Seri Kembangan for a while. Nasa sent Ayu back to Cyberia, before coming to McD.

It was a night filled with love, and I was indeed happy. Thank you, darlings.

♥ ♥ ♥

Forgiving

...is something I can do.

To forget is another different story altogether.

This is who I am, this is the shit I've been trying to fix.

If you can't take it, you know the exit.

Pre-Birthday Announcement

Picture courtesy of ~glassaple

So it's officially just another day before my birthday. I wish I can celebrate with my family; two years in KL and two years of celebrating it while I was away. All Ibu could do is just call and send me cards. Next year, I think I should go back if nothing is holding me back.

That is not the main point of this blog, though. I just wanted to say something. During a class recently, I saw someone's little note for herself of what to do this week, and my birthday is the last one in the list. Pardon me for I have such sharp, noticing eyes.

Excited? Not one bit. Now, I don't want anything from Miss Libra and Miss Aries. Please. Don't give me anything if all you want to do is all behind my back, sneaking around, talk shit about me etc. I'd rather let the birthday passes without anything rather than keeping undeserving mementos from people like you two; or anyone who does the same. Korang simpan je la duit korang tu. Berjimat cermat lah ye? Sekarang zaman barang naik harga. Eloklah menabung untuk kesejahteraan masa hadapan :)

Apa guna memberi benda yang elok kalau pada masa yang sama menabur benda-benda, sama ada nyata atau pun tak, yang sekadar menambah perit di hati? Persahabatan jenis apakah itu? Hadiah tu harta dunia cuma. Yang aku nak cuma persahabatan yang jujur, yang boleh bawak sampai ke mati.


Thank you.

Puasa etc.

The much awaited and blessed month is here!

Really looking forward to do some self-adjustments, all for the better of course. So far everything seems fine (how delusional of me, it has only been one day), but I can tell you I'm still working to decrease my profanities. I only curse after buka puasa though, just not on regular basis. LOL.

I was so sedated moments before the first tarawih prayer, and thanks to coffee that I managed to stay awake and hyper. You should see Diba when she's excited about the whole Ramadhan bliss. I had never seen any one cheering all the way to the mosque until I met her. That is supposed to be a compliment. Haha.

Other than that, housemate Lee is in her hometown, Sabah. We all missed her and really hope she is doing fine and getting better. Tough lass, she is. So much pain yet so rich of happiness and smiles.

"Aku ingat mati ni aja," she said and I just told her to think positive and go home, recover totally and come back whenever she is ready.

Gambar paling tak leh blah tahun ini. Mwahahaha.

Anyway, selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan & selamat berpuasa. :)

P/S: Tak paham ape kes hanta mesej mintak maaf masa hari first puasa. Sebelum puasa tak ingat nak mintak maaf ke? Tunggu puasa baru nak? Nasib tak membawak ke hari raya. Bukan nak sombong la tapi kalau ikhlas datang depan muka la mintak maaf kalau ye pun. Ingat hanta mesej bernilai 12 sen setiap satu sms boleh bagi aku lupa ke apa kau dah buat dekat aku? Termasuk apa kau buat belakang aku. Fikir la dow.

MTV World Stage 15082009

It all began with simple text messages from Zuan.

"I'll see you in desa :("

"Don't be mad at me ok. You balik rumah dulu.. Nanti I datang."

"Don't be mad. I didn't know what got into me.. I cried enough tadi."

As someone who is really concern about this non-biological brother of mine, I freaked out. Grabbing my tudung and my keys, ignoring my wallet and the need to change for a pair of better pants, I got into my hoodie and wore my orange slippers as I rushed downstairs to see him, much to my housemates' astonishment.

My eyes spotted a white Perodua MyVi, and immediately recognized this dude clad in green hoodie as Zuan, and a girl about my size who was obviously Khalisa. The other one with them became obvious after I approached them at the front parking area in my hostel. It was Kak Rokiah. In my head, I was wondering why was Kak Rokiah there? What's the biggie, right? Now I believed that her presence that night was just to enhance my nervousness, and it miraculously worked!

"Kenapa, kenapa?" My eyes gazed widely at the three of them when Zuan wept fakingly on my shoulders, and felt weird when I caught Khalisa giggling with Kak Rokiah.

"Eh? Is this a trick?" I muttered. At that, all of them laughed and Zuan took off the hood, unveiling the dry face. I narrowed my eyes at him, "I know that would be a fake cry. You didn't show me your eyes."

"We have a surprise for you," Zuan said, "Promise us you'll go."

"Ha? Go where?"

"Consider this as an early birthday present from us," Khalisa passed me a rectangular cardboard box.

"Apa ni?" I was as blurred as a blank paper.

"Bukak la! Bukak la!"

I turned the box upside down to find a way to open it. Once I lifted up the lid, there lay something I have never even paid full attention to. It was not only one, but there were two GOLD passes to watch MTV World Stage in Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach, on Saturday; 15th August. This incident happened on the same week- Thursday.

"What is this?" Yes, I was that silly to be asking such a question.

"It's a concert ticket. There will be The All-American Rejects, Boys Like Girls and Estranged! We know you enjoy those kind of thing."

"Are you guys going?"

"No, sayang. We are not. You know la kan we layan ballad, RNB and heartbreak songs. We don't layan this so much. You are the one that came to our minds when we got the tickets," Khalisa explained.

"Why are you guys not going? This doesn't feel right," I was still blurry. Poor them, I did not deliver the scream of excitement they waited for.

"It's okay! You go la, and enjoy! It doesn't happen every year here, you know!"

"I don't know if I can go or not."

"Josh have to take you. If he doesn't, I'll make him do!" Zuan stressed it.

"He has parents. If they say no, no la. I really don't know if I can." The truth is, I was in a lot of doubt. I was a jakun with concerts for I had never been to any. "Who else is there?"

"Yang I know tu je la. I heard Kasabian is there, and Hoobastank."

"Who's Kasabian? Tak pernah dengar pun. Hoobastank so-so la. I want My Chemical Romance."

"Maybe they are there!" Zuan replied, trying to buy my attention.

"No, they are not. I'm their huge fan, so I know what they are doing now. No concerts are yet to be announced. Not here, of course."

"But you layan The All-American Rejects kan? Go la, Hani. Please please please!"

"Ape la ni, Kak Rokiah? I ingat ape la, rupanya ni." I turned to her and all she could do was giggle. "Okay, okay. We wait for Josh," I took out my phone and called this lover of mine. "Dear, you must come down now."

"Apesal? Zuan okay ke tak tu? Nangis sebab ape?" he was clueless.

"Just come down. I'll show you."

He agreed and moments later, he appeared. Showing the concert tickets to him, he was speechless as well. "Sabtu ni? Eh, today dah la Khamis."

"Promise me, Josh, that you'll take Hani there. It's her pre-birthday present! You must take her!" Zuan also explained to Josh why Khalisa and him were not going.

After a while spent talking to his parents, Josh said that he had an absolute green light. I was surprised, yet thankful at the same time. It'd felt bad if we couldn't go. It's a bloody GOLD pass. It doesn't drop down from the sky everyday, and it's worth hundreds. Two GOLD passes can reach a thousand, and that's a lot of money.

"I'll go but please, take me away on my birthday. Please. I just want to spend the day with people I call my family. Please, tu je I nak. I tak nak lain. I just want all of you," I gave an ultimatum.

"Sure, that can be arranged!" Zuan smiled in agreement.

"Thanks, my darlings," I hugged Khalisa until she could actually lifted me up. "But you know your love and support is enough for me."

"It's okay, Hani. We just want you to have fun. You and Josh would make the most benefit from these tickets compared to us yang tak masuk dengan rock ni."

15th August 2009

Josh and I set off to Sunway Pyramid, and we watched District 9 first (second time for him). Yes, it is an unusual movie but it has touched me deeply. Nasa can never understand it. Haha. "Aku dok tunggu bila la cerita tu nak habis."

My nose made a slight problem because I just couldn't cease from sneezing. After the movie, we went to Starbucks to get myself a hot serving of Vanilla Latte, and I was glad it made me felt a little better. Josh had figured out where the place we would have to register before entering the event. It was at a hotel in the heart of Sunway. Many people were lining up, and I could see they were holding a piece of paper each. It looked like a form. Till now, I have no idea what is the paper for. Josh did mention something that for certain events, people who wish to be in the mosh pit has to be filtered for safety purposes.

We approached a crew and asked him of where we should be registering. "Tiket apa?" he asked us.

"Gold," Josh replied.

"Tunjuk tiket," he requested. Josh showed him the ticket and straight away he led us to a special route. I was busy keeping things in my handbag, and later gaped in awe to realize that I was standing in front of the famous Euphoria. "You see, dear? I'm in front of Euphoria and I can't even go in there." (There is a funny story about this whole Euphoria thing) My handbag was inspected because any recording devices were not allowed inside. As we walked further into the route, we were stopped to allow a crew to put a wrist tag on us prior entering. "Your hand is so small," the lady muttered. Haha. Tell me about it. :P

The mosh pit was almost filled, and the Silver ticket area was also already a quarter full. Making our way to the GOLD platform, I saw Kenalicious! He was in the mosh pit. Before the show began, we were served with music videos of the soon-to-be-performing artistes and FlyFM people were busy pumping up the crowd and throwing freebies to them mosh pit people. Haha, I wish I was there but I'd get a swollen eye if I did.

Not so long after that, we were entertained by this Malaysian act. Not Estranged. It's some dude lip-syncing on the bloody stage trying to do slick dance moves and Michael Jackson's moonwalk. He'd better thank God that I was very, very far. I could have thrown him my shoes. Turn off, really. Then the MTV VJs showed up (I only remembered Utt and Denise), and they told us that this recorded gig will be premiering on MTV on my bloody birthday. How flattering! After mentioning how many countries will be watching the recorded version, they welcomed Estranged to perform.

Estranged was amazing, to say the least. Boys Like Girls were great as well; and just when you thought they blew every piece of mind there, Raygun proved you wrong. They were so upbeat and the lead actually danced pretty well! He was such an entertainer with his dance moves and undeniably great as a lead singer! As far as the audio visualisation and lighting are concerned, both were superbly set.

When Raygun was done, we got to listen to a few famous mainstream remixes spun by a DJ just to add some variety. It wasn't really a total rock and roll show. The sun set and Pixie Lott came on to belt a few songs. I honestly didn't heard of her before :P I think I've been on my mp3 for so long. Because I take too much pictures, my phone died in the midst of her performing. "Alamak, dah la Rejects tak perform lagi." It was sad gila.

Hoobastank came first and I was impressed, *with fluttering anime eyes*, on how good looking Doug Robb was! I was never into him, or basically any dude with sleepy (you can call it dreamy if you like it) eyes. No offense to my Chinese friends. SJ, you are emo-zingly cute. That's why Maria and Nicole were your BRATs wifeys.

All hail The All-American Rejects! They arrived on the stage after Hoobastank (and long minutes of setting up their kits), and the lead kicked ass! Tyson Ritter looked like as if he was on dope. So magically dramatic and animated, not to mention the sexified "YEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!ssss" he threw to the crowd.

He'd make an awesome porn star.

Chia Lim tagged me for this quiz

So this is the result, except that I choose not to post on Facebook :)

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Major Decision

And so I have registered for the new semester.

Relieved? Maybe. Much to be seen ahead. It is better to inhale the air now and appreciate what is, then to worry about the what ifs.

To begin with a new semester, I made a drastic decision. Never planned, though. I just thought I needed a new boost. So I moved out of the current apartment.

Nothing personal, really. I pretty much give it a try. Besides, I changed into this new room for free. Praise God. The management is suddenly so nice. I hope it is some sort of a good luck charm for a good start; for a good book.

I have picked Public Relations as my major. For the previous semester I got an A for Public Relations Principles, which convinces me that this is my turf. Of course, I love working with people. I love interacting. I can't really sit and forced my brain to think of new methods to sell things. I can't even stand promoters, let alone becoming one.

I even have a class with Mr.Bong. Amin said it will be bundles of fun. Haha, I hope so, buddy ;) It's just sad that I don't have a class with my dearest Khalisa, except for Malaysian Studies! There is this subject that I am taking now that she will only take next semester. How bummer :(
To think on the brighter side, we all have Malaysian Studies and this time it'd better happen. Haha.

Day one at the new house: I feel great! I feel at home. I pray to have ongoing peace with the new house and housemates.

Convent girls, I miss all of you :(

There is saying...

"Behind a successful man, there is a woman who makes it happen."

True, but this is another saying that somehow popped in my mind concerning some men who were predicted to be fantastically successful- but still hasn't.

"Behind a probable prospective man, there can be a woman who can crush it all."

HAHAHA. Sad, no?

Kata-kata ini diterbitkan oleh minda saya yang banyak menerewang sewaktu termenung, tidak kira di dalam bas, atau pun ketika menunaikan hajat. Jadi, ianya tidak berkenaan dengan mana-mana individu secara tepat. Harap maklum, jangan terperasan. Hehe.

Sebenarnye...

...aku malas nak blog pasal benda buang masa ni tapi sebab aku banyak masa nak dibuang ni, aku blog je la. In case kawan2 aku nak tau satu kejadian bodoh yg telah mengambil tempat di Facebook.

Kisahnye macam ni...

Kawan aku letak status. Aku komen la. Secara jujur, komen tu sebenarnya berunsur lawak. Aku siap selit 'hehehe' lg kat belakang.

Tiba-tiba, kawan kpd kawan aku ni hangin tak pasal2. Entah la hari tu die PMS kot. Aku malas nak pakai kata2 kesat, dan dia pun bunyi provocative giler. Atau pun memang bunyi seakan-akan gila.

Adakah rasional dia tuduh aku jealous tak diajak ke Sunway main Ice-Skating punca nya aku jokingly gelar kawan aku tu lesbian? Muka kemaruk sangat ke aku ni nak orang usung aku? What the hell, kan? Aku panggil dia mcm tu lawak2 je, selama ni die tak kisah pun. Josh pun dia boleh gelar anjing, so ape salah aku panggil dia lesbian? Still manusia kan? Bukan haiwan.

Tak habis dgn tu dia lantas dengan sungguh tidak profesional nye menyentuh hal-hal tak berkaitan, contohnye, mempersoalkan kewujudan teman2 akrab dalam hidup aku. Gila ape? Aku punye kawan pun nak cedok gak ke? Dia pun aku tak cedok, bukan main nak cedok pasal tu. Aku ade best friend ke, tak de ke...ade kena mengena dengan kau ke?

Dah pulak tu aku balas aku tak perlu prove apa-apa kat dia, dia boleh panggil aku idiot. Sekarang cakap, siapa start dulu? Mulut aku tak kan sumpah seranah kalau tak de yang start dulu. Pantang aku guna bahasa kesat, melainkan dicabar. Aku bagi la bahasa kesat dekat dia kaw-kaw.

Tapi kan bila nampak gaya nya perempuan yang mempunyai kestabilan emosi yang sangat menjengkelkan ini tak nak berhenti melalut, aku pun malas nak layan. Senang cerita, aku click aje 'Report this person' kat Facebook, dengan butiran lanjut kenapa aku berbuat begitu. Aku jugak mengaku pada Facebook aku guna bahasa kesat, dan dah padam apa yang aku post-kan supaya tidak menyinggung orang lain.

Biar je la Facebook layan dia. Malas aku nak layan. Sampai kiamat pun tak habis.

...and to answer her question; Yes, you can defend your best friend in what ever way you may but if you are questioning about my actions, which supposed to be a joke, ask your best friend if she has ever defended me.

Once upon a time, she complained to a friend that she felt left-out by me. So I texted her, asked her how she was, apologized etc. She treated them as a joke. She replied as if I was delusional about the whole thing. Do you know how it made me feel? I can't even describe how upset I was. A thank you would not hurt, I believe.

Once upon a time, when she kept telling Josh to leave me, together with all the nasty remarks about me that she has said to him, and Josh didn't leave me at all- she said he was stupid. What kind of a friend does so to a friend?

Once upon a time, when things were okay, when I was still blind, some colleagues asked me about her, and how I can even end up with her. I was never ashamed of her. I defended her. I told them the good within her that they didn't see. But they were right, as time flies.

Once upon a time, when I busted my ass working for a group assignment...-

Ya Allah.

I can't even go on. I felt too sad. Too upset. Too drowned in my tears.

Ask yourself. Who leaves out who?

I only defend the ones worth defending.