Screw Edward Cullen, I Want Ricky Fitts.

(click pictures for better view)
"Ricky Fitts is the hottest (fictional) guy alive. He has piercing blue eyes, a sweet voice, and a smoking bod. He also has something that Edward doesn't: depth. So he isn't a vampire; that's okay. He has a personality, which is more than I can say for Mr. Cullen.

Could Edward Cullen find beauty in a floating plastic bag? I think NOT! Clearly, Ricky > Edward."

The description in this group just made me laugh! But seriously, he could have made a better Edward Cullen ;)

The actor la I mean. Not Ricky Fitts. It's Wes Bentley :) His portrayal of Blackheart in Ghost Rider movie, amidst the dissatisfaction of how Blackheart appears from hardcore fans of the comic; he looks good pale, with vague bluish veins and jet black hair, and super awesome vintage clothes!

No Gnome

Taken from the movie Weirdsville.

Dexter: How'd you knock him out?
Royce: I hit him with that elf thing that we broke in with.
Dexter: Gnome.
Royce: Yeah whatever. What is it, a leprechaun?
Dexter: Gnome.
Royce: You know what I mean, like that smurf thing that I hit the window with?
Dexter: Not smurf - gnome.
Royce: What are you saying, man? Why don't you just tell me? You keep saying no.

[they stare at each other and then start laughing]

Haha, awesome quote!

"I am optimistic and sentimental to the point of being annoying, especially to people who think that being cynical and cold is cool."

- Yasmin Ahmad.

It's International My Chemical Romance Day, and the third year, to be exact. It is funny the band's bassist is only aware about it after two years! Haha.

Misteri Kehilangan Air

Malam semalam, Ibu panaskan air. Sampai penuh electronic flask tu.

Lepas tu, selepas beberapa jam, ibu pegi dapur nak buat air. Terkejut dia tengok flask tu kosong!

Aku yang tak tau ape benda pun terkejut jugak. Haha.

Mula la sesi CSI, belek atas bawah flask tu, memikirkan logik ke mana air tu dah menghilangkan diri. Tak ada bahagian bocor, tak ada kesan basah di mana-mana.

Aku dengan ibu lagi la rasa pelik. Ibu bagi teori flask tu dah rosak dan dah rebus air sampai kering. Aku pulak bangkang, berserta fakta-fakta Sains (ye la, SPM Sains dapat A1 tau!). Mustahil la kering dalam cerek, habis mana wap air tu semua pegi? Kan? Kan?

Lantas, tanpa banyak songeh, ibu panaskan air sekali lagi, nak melihat misteri kehilangan air tu. Yang menariknya, sampai di saat aku taip blog ni, air semalam masih ada. Haha.

Tiba-tiba, adik aku yang Tingkatan 4 tu ketawa terbahak-bahak. "Aku ambik air tu buat ais la!"

Ceh. -_-"

I have taken a closer look :)

I remembered when TV3 kept airing it, I missed the earlier parts and only get to witness how this key character of the movie named Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey), died. Haha.

I think what made me even more interested in this movie since forever, is after watching this character who goes by the name Ricky Fitts. His weird behaviour and interests are just plain cute. He videotapes the most random things ever and sees the beauty in what he films, too much beauty, that he can just cry. Bunyi gila tapi ada la betul jugak... Not to mention he even grow up in such a disfunctional family: an only child living with a super-strict, ex-military father and a very rigid, quiet & passive housewife as a mother. Aku sangat bersimpati terhadap mak dia. Muka banyak masalah dan kesedihan :(

Daddy controls everything :(

Daddy tells Ricky gays are shameful.

Lester has a wife, Carolyn (Annette Benning) and she is a real estate agent who is driven by the idea of wanting to be successful, and refuse to show her weakness. A woman who is perfectly living in denial. She thinks she has a loser as a husband and finds solace (and sexual excapades, haha), in her own real estate competition, Buddy Kane. Lester and Carolyn have a daughter, Jane; this girl is unhappy with her breasts and saves money for a boob job!

Queen control.

Trying to be the perfect mother.


Carolyn caught cheating by Lester.

I honestly salutes her and Ricky, because they work on their own to gain what they want! The difference is Ricky sells weed for people, until he can collect around US$40, 000. Gila kaya woh...

Note for everyone: Don't sell illegal shit. You might never get caught but still, gaining profit from other people's misery is not very nice :)

Okay, back to the whole review; Ricky likes Jane, and she eventually finds him interesting. Come on, who wouldn't love someone who stands by his window, just interested in what you do everyday, and films you because he thinks you're beautiful the way you are, and goes out burning the grass forming your name with the fire? Or even still interested with watching you, admiring your beauty, even when you tell him to stop watching you?

Ricky filming Jane.

Jane, on the other hand, has a friend so attractive, known as Angela Hayes, a model wannabe, who thinks she will go to the top just by sucking up and fucking famous people. Lester likes Angela, and tries to get her attention. So this is when everything unfolds.

One of Lester's fantasy about Angela XD

This movie looks shallow, but if you look closer (that's the movie's tagline), you'll definitely see the true beauty of the film. You'll understand why Lester feels like a loser and suddenly bounces back into a better person just because he tries to impress Angela, why Carolyn is so cold to her husband but nice and pretentious to everyone else, why Jane hates her parents, why Ricky's father is so hard on bringing him up, why his mother is so defenseless and why Angela adores the attention she gets from every man.

It's a movie about the phoniness in people, the fake faces, the struggle just to be themselves despite being labeled a weirdo or a rebel, the lies told just to be accepted and the pain within each one of us that we are all trying to overcome.

Anyway, I was happy for Lester; because he died feeling happy, even though he was shot at the back of his head when he least expected it, he managed to be happy at the very final second just looking at an old picture of his family when Jane was little, and happy knowing Jane is feeling loved with Ricky by her side, knowing that his wife is happy with another man, and happy that he did not do anything with Angela, realizing it is a wrong thing to do.

My favourite dialogue of this movie=
Ricky: If I leave tonight, to New York, will you come with me?
Jane: (smiles) Yes.

It is so beautiful, really.

...and great line of cast too!

Wow!

Yes, "Wow!" is the phrase that has been stuck in my head ever since this one Indian dude in Ipoh Parade parking lobby exclaimed so upon seeing me, much to my surprise.

It was when my mother decided to go to the ladies' a floor above in the mall before driving home. My two little sisters tagged along, leaving me and my two younger brothers in the parking lobby. The boys were busy with their own light conversations and jokes, and I was just standing quietly a few feet away from the elevator.

Then, there were two Indian dudes coming down the elevator, and I was just merely looking, taking a few glances here and there. When they saw me, one of them suddenly exclaimed "Wow!", but not that loud of course. Gila kot kalau lagu tu... I turned around, feeling so awkward at his reaction, just in case I was perasan. But there was nothing else around me; just some plastic plants. I shifted my sight back to them, and they realized they were in the wrong floor. They took the other elevator and as both of them slowly moved up, the one who WOW-ed turned around to look at me with a smile and a nod, before walking away.

What the hell. Haha. Pelik, pelik. Does he know me? Haha, I have no idea.

Anyway, I did not manage to meet Zuan in Ipoh. Apparently he had something holding him back, but even worse my phone died in the middle of the day, because of too much music and too much snapping pictures.

I only spent my money on a yellow polka dots hoodie from the kid's department in Kinta City shopping mall (fondly known as Jaya Jusco), and a pair of dark brown khaki pants from SEED kids. Well, where else can I purchase clothes of my size if not there?

Hazel Cheese cake.

So, we celebrated Ibu's birthday on a day earlier. Haha, it was her decision by the way. She said on her birthday she wants to fast, so she can enjoy the cake for sahur as well :)

Hurrying up, I went through the options of the cakes available on the pick-up day that the kakak at Secret Recipe had pointed out to me. After some brief reading of the descriptions, I picked Hazel Cheese cake.

That's my hand smeared in hazel sauce *drools*

I have to say, the cake tastes awesome! It's not heavy, not too light and acceptable for people who don't really favour the heavy cheese flavour. My family kept taking second and third slices!

Worth the shot! Haha.

I even splurged on these Goggles shirts; I had to. It's on sale. Don't try to understand, it's a girl thingy. Haha.

Jalan-jalan at Taiping Sentral, I spotted a few interesting things to snap.

Brother get sister free? Incest much?


A very complex yet hilarious medication! My brother and I just had to laugh out loud in Watson's.



Interesting brand for apparels. Magazine & Coffee. Two of my favourite things ;)

You're just a sad song with nothing to say.

I used to be close to this girl. I still remember her well. I guess I wouldn't know her if I didn't befriend this Chinese-Indian dude named Sabanjiven in my Form 3 Science tuition, haha. I used to find him cute and thought he was a Malay; obviously because he is mixed. He had this dream of becoming a well-known singer with his Thai-mixed cousin, who wanted to be a well-known DJ! Ambitions; aren't they fun? If you care to watch DiGi Celebriteen (I don't remember what year), he was one of the contestants. Now when I look at him, he has changed so drastically! His commercial name is now BEN. I didn't have pictures of him because who bothered to take pictures of some guy who went to the same tuition with you, right? Or is it just me not bothered? Anyway, managed to steal this picture off his blog;

(Saban @ Ben; far left)

Back to the actual topic, this Chinese friend of mine I knew in school, goes by the initials CMP. So P, if you Google yourself, good luck finding this blog :)

She is actually an okay person, (or am I the only one who thinks she's harmless?) but she took the whole 'trying-to-fit-in' phase way too far to turn back. Can you imagine all those stories and the people she told me she knew were all lies? I don't blame her, but I just think she might have wanted attention. She just did it in the most wrong ways possible. To her, to be admired is to be accepted and loved. Her parents are old, and you know la how old people are. Very judgmental.

I think Noien was the one who managed to confront her and scolded her in public for her lies. Memang kitorang ternganga tengok Noien time tu. Dalam hati aku boleh mengucap je kot. Haha, siapa tak kenal Noien punya perangai? Memang hang kena la dengan dia kalau cakap tak betul, mengumpat-ngumpat ke, cakap belakang ke...sebab dia tak takut. Aku ni nasib je la tak sampai tahap tu. Maybe aku kena belajar la dengan Noien macam mana nak bantai orang. Aku jenis tak sampai hati. Dah tau kena kutuk belakang-belakang pun boleh buat muka kanak-kanak riang dengan orang tu. Aih, sedih no?

After her tales were exposed to be just mere made-ups, she kept a low profile. She disappeared. It was almost SPM, by the way. Students just didn't have to be present for school. When she finally made an appearance, she and I had this talk. She said she understood if I choose to ignore her. I just told her to change and that she didn't have to lie. No one will discriminate her for who she actually is. I mean, I'm not that bloody rich. I don't have to be rich and claim I know famous people to be admired and accepted, or even loved. She doesn't have to, as well.

The last thing she told me was that she would try to change. I was a teeny bit glad, and I hoped she would make it to be perfectly fine on a clean slate. We continued to be friends when other people didn't want to be seen with her. She even told me to please do not forget her; which to this day, I never did.

I wonder where she is now. My friends told me that she was still in Taiping, not doing anything, ignoring people, and pretending that she didn't see them. It was all rumours, you see, but if they were true, I believe she has a reason. Maybe she was ashamed that she was still there, and other people are going places to further studies.

If so, I think she shouldn't be thinking that way. I mean, who knows what is in store for her? I've heard some ugly things about her but then I'd love to see if they are true. Or if she would still lie.

Two years since, I've never really got broken-hearted by friends until I entered college. I thought I wasted my time knowing them but then again, maybe if I didn't know these friends who are using me, lying to me, backstabbing me, secretly trashing me etc., I might never learn.

Thank you. I've learnt a lot about life and people, in general, by knowing you people for the past two years. I felt pity for the people who have not seen that side of you. Really.

Get well soon, Ezziq.

When the previous semester was still on, this friend of mine who goes by the nickname Ezziq, got sick once in a while. We thought it could be early signs of dengue, or swine flu (I don't remember who actually suggested this terrible disease) or maybe she was too stressed with assignments; regarding that she had some disagreement with a lecturer.

This afternoon, Zuan texted me, saying that Ezziq is hospitalized in HUKM. She was diagnosed to have tumours in her ovaries (naudzubillahiminzalik), and chances are they can be cancerous.

My goodness.

I remembered the last time I met her. She had taken her final examinations and I was waiting in the faculty to kill some time before my final examination took place.

Maybe I will go and visit her this weekend. Yeah, I've been with friends for months and only get the final semester break with my family, but I think my family can understand. Ezziq needs support. She was there for me, so I shall be there for her.

You hang in there, buddy. You are a brave, strong lady. You can beat those tumours; I know you can.

My prayers will always be with you. Don't ever, ever, ever give up.

L-R (Khalisa, Zuan, Ezziq, me.)

Love Is Like Oxygen.

"Without you is like having semput."
- Bucuk (nama sebenar dirahsiakan)

To wake up in the subuh and reading this message is so flattering!

:) Without you is like having a caffeine-desperation for me too, dear.

Settling for a D5000?

Maybe I will. I have not made up my mind.

Went out and about for a drink with my family the day before, and if I go to Taiping Sentral, I just have to visit this photo shop (they don't print pictures I think since all I can see is just a variety of cameras and other visual capturing devices on all display cupboards). The funny thing is that I, to this date, never remembered to memorize the name of the store.

Note to self: I shall memorize it when I go for a next visit.

I was looking for a Nikon DSLR D90, but there were only D60 (that is what Nasa is using) and a D5000. I squinted, reading the specifications of the model, and realized it is similar to D90.

But what makes it different?

I looked at the price. RM 3288; and I went "What the hell? It's cheaper than D90?" I knew the last time I surveyed for D90, the best price you can have is at painstaking RM4000. One Malay uncle in LowYat Plaza was willing to sell a D90 for RM4119, WITHOUT a bag. Much to my surprise, a Chinese man at the same place was selling the same model for RM119 cheaper, WITH a bag.

I texted Nasa, and he claimed it was an incredibly great price for a D5000, literally saying, "Waahh...ok r tu..sebat jea."

Still undecided, I surfed the web for results of the comparison of both D90 and D5000. It appears that D90, despite being the earlier baby, is still winning. It's actually pretty complicated.
D5000 is standing in between D60 (better than D60) and D90 (this model is a winner).

My college buddy Raditya suggested that I take D5000. Not sure why; he said specifications-wise, D5000 is offering more than D90. It has this swivel-screen, slightly cheaper and all, but still, I am undecided.

I am pretty much undecided about most things in my life, actually.

Then how ar?

Tikus Punya Pasal

"Bila-bila Opah nak kemas semua barang-barang. Biar lapang. Takdak la tikus dok menyorok."

-Opah

Well, masalahnye Opah, kalau lapang nanti Opah macam bagi tikus-tikus more space to play kejar-kejar.

Trust me, I've seen what kanak-kanak riang rats can be. Haha.

Indonesian TV3

"Kakak, we are in Indonesia. TV semua takde transmission and we get Indonesian channels. Apa la..."
- Ibu


Hahaha. Sod ba ro je la, Bu.

Over

One thing that I learned after entering college, and befriending some tormenting homo-sapiens, I can see that people are funny.

Really. You should really see them when they get pushed to their very edge; the reactions due to inexplicable desperation. Very funny, indeed.

I've had my own funny moments, and laughing as I reminisced my own actions, thinking of what stupid act I did once. God knows what they think of me after all these couple of years, but I couldn't care less.

Lantak lah. Bukan diorang bagi aku bahagia pun.

But now, I'm just going to sit back and watch other's instead. I don't even have to do anything and people get provoked out of nowhere. Now, that's funny.

I've bawled oceans long ago for some people I thought were my friends. Now, I'm just going to pull the biggest smile on my face for I have found true friends, a true lover and my true self.

I'm going to leave the negativity all behind, and look forward. I feel bad for the so-called friends I used to have if they are crying or cursing or hating now (Wallahualam), but well, I've had my turn.

Maybe it's yours. ;) Allah tu kan Maha Adil.

Good luck.

Sekadar coretan isi hati.

"People only listen to what they want to listen and believe in what they want to believe in." - Ibu

Tepuk dada, tanya diri.

Ask yourself, to whomever it may concern, aren't you the one being jumpy around me? Oh, and to the other one, I have had enough with you too.

Dapatkan sebuah kehidupan, manusia-manusia yang sangat menyedihkan. XD